...How I got a radio gig and something about a perfect spouse.

This one will be short and sweet. In fact the main reason I am even doing this blog is because I want Joan to leave me another sweet comment. (you're very good for my ego Joanie). Speaking of ego, would someone please tell my wife to quit making me sound like such a saint? (pun intended). I mean come on, we are newlyweds. I could end up being a total charmless oaf by this time next year. You just can't tell with men. Ah, but none of this really has anything to do with the title of this blog right?

So here it is. Back in the day when I was still young and ambitious. OK I am still ambitious. Anyway, way back then, I wanted to be a DJ on a rock radio station. And then later as I got older and proved it by starting to listen to talk radio, I decided it would be super cool to be a sports radio commentator. Well, Dadgum if dreams don't come true.....almost, sometimes, sort of. I am on the radio. It isn't FM Rock, or as my friend Brittini would say....PM rock. (she gets confused easily). It's not sports commentary either. But it is sports radio. And you know what it is commentary. It is nutrition commentary. While not as sexy as Sports or Rock Radio, it is something I know a lot about. And you know what, I'm kinda good at it. Neil, the show host tells me that I am really good at it and that it is only a matter of time before I get my own show if I want it. Thats great news for a couple of reasons, one is obvious, I love to talk and if there is actually anyone out there willing to listen, yippee. But along with that, in the five weeks I have been doing the show it has been really awesome for my store. Plus as usual I have lots of ideas and plans that are larger than life all of which could benefit from more exposure.

What it boils down to is that a slightly different version of my dream is now a reality and that is pretty stinking cool. So if you people are bored enough and don't have access to something reasonably entertaining, listen in. I mean, you guys reading this right now, are my audience I guess. After all, you're either incredibly interested in my beautiful family, or you are incredibly lacking in things to do with your time. I guess it just depends on how you look at it. It is on 1280AM in Salt Lake City at 9:30 AM. And I think you can listen to it streaming online at 1280thezone.com. Let me know if that works ok?

Now for the interesting and sentimental part of my blog.

My wife is amazing. Do you guys realize that in the 9 months that we have been married, that she has:
1. Cleaned out and sold off nearly every corner of this house.
2. Painted half of the upstairs.
3. Completely taken over the finances from someone who generally pays the bills at least by the second notice.
4. Sealed our new tile floor.
5. Re arranged, organized and cleaned out our garage.
6. Installed a keypad for the garage door.
7. Installed a ceiling fan and at least a couple other light fixtures I can think of.
8. Installed a new mail box (twice).
9. Completely re-decorated our bedroom (while I was away for two nights on business).
10. Bought and assembled 4 dressers for the kids.
11. Bought and assembled 2 beds for the kids.
12. Bought and Assembled our bed and dresser.
13. Bought and assembled our entertainment center downstairs.
14. Nearly won our NCAA tournament challenge.
15. Revolutionized the homework process in our home. Amazingly smart this one.
16. Set up Friday as piano lesson day for half our neighborhood.
17 . Started teaching all 4 of our children the piano as well.
18. Weeded, weed barriered and barked our whole yard.
19. Made jammies for all of us for Christmas as well as the cutest clown costumes for the whole family for Halloween.
20. Made me one of the happiest men on the planet.

AND THAT IS JUST THE TOP 20. And I swear people, it took me about 10 minutes to come up with that list. There is a list a mile long of the amazing things she has done and does do on a daily basis to make life as her husband absolutely remarkable.

And with all of that, she gets all emotional when I give her some chocolates and a candle.

I love this woman and the good Lord knew what he was doing when he put the two of us together.

So this was a weird blog. I started out all excited about the radio and ended up laying in bed next to my beautiful wife and realizing (without her looking over my shoulder by the way)....realizing that I am so happy and so blessed to have her that I needed desperately to tell all you wonderful people about it. I love my wife, I love our kids. And tomorrow, I just might mention that on the radio.

Love to all who care to read this. Oh and by the way, leave comments (that means you Tamu and any of you others who read this thing incognito). I love to read what people have to say about my virtual insanity....it is virtual isn't it........

.....Vacations, hormones, and why I love my family....

Family Vacation.....So all of you who are familiar with my beautiful wife, and her slightly less hysterical, yet far more historically accurate blog, know that we went on a really long in miles and very short in time road trip. And that, my friends, is the lead candidate for run-on sentence of the year.

Anyway, my wife has a great blog at kimberleesaint.blogspot.com, check it out. As for our trip, it rocked. We saw an aircraft carrier, a grundle of wild animals, and had a waitress that threw bubblegum and straws at us. We drove 2000 miles, and yet only averaged 3.6 miles per hour for an hour and a half, going through Baker, CA. We ate the absolute best "spicy fried pickles" of all time. We saw Saturn, Pleiads and Orion. We listened to #10 seed Davidson barely lose to #1 seed Kansas, at the buzze. Then, later, watched Kansas win the national championship. (Wouldn't it be cool if it would have been Davidson)? We sat in vintage WWII planes and saw the Pacific ocean. We ate authentic Italian pizza, in an authentic Italian restaurant, served by an authentic Italian waiter in not so authentic Little Italy. We saw real ghosts in a real ghost town and ate really hot cinnamon candy and really bad but really expensive fudge. We got hotel rooms for really cheap using hotwire.com ($39 including breakfast). I'm pretty sure we did more, but after the 14 hour drive home I am still in need of a really long, real vacation.

Hormones...

I love my wife, I love my daughters and as a general rule, I love women. (Although I think I am wise in excluding my girlfriend and concubines from this conversation). I will drop an excerpt here from a comment I left on my beautiful sister in law's blog last week.

"Joan,

Let me tell you something. I uhhh, well, maybe ummmm, OK, I don't understand a bit. This is what I know about it. There are a lot of things that happen once a month that put me in a less than happy position. The mortgage comes due, Alimony, Home Teaching (wink), You know, all the un-pleasantries of life that constantly reappear. There are seasonal things. Weeds, quarterly taxes, another disappointing season for the Redskins. But there is NO THING like that time of the month. I can understand all the other stuff. But a Period and the unpredictable (to say the least) hormone swings that accompany it......AHHHHH. What is a man supposed to do? I mean lets face it, although Brandon is a great guy, he isn't perfect. But, I on the other hand, am. The perfect husband, everyone would agree, (my ex excluded of course). How can a man like me ever deserve the uneasiness that I feel for 5-6 days out of every month? It's not fair. I mean we are talking approximately 15% of my married life spent wondering if the next thing I say might get my sorry butt thrown on the couch for the night. The answer....well, there doesn't appear to be one. So, I will say this, Brandon, you're most likely doing great and that vortex you speak of is filled with seemingly great husbands swirling around trying to catch their breath. Now, with all of that being said and realizing that this is not my blog, I will finish by saying this. All of the above references to pain and monthly discomfort are only memories now of my previous marriage. Of course my beautiful, perfect wife Kimberlee would never put me in such a position. Every day of every month is yet another day in paradise. Much love....Jared "

So, there you have it. I have three perfect women, whom I love, living with me..... and there is never a problem with hormones at all.

Thanks for any comments and for your love and support of my beautiful family.

J