Thursday, May 8, 2008

...It’s Delightful, it’s delovely….?

The Wizard of Oz. Don’t get me started. For all of the 35 years, that I have inhabited this earth, I have avoided "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz." My ex-wife, several girlfriends, and even my children have tried to strong-arm me into watching this show. Then it happened. The perfect set of circumstances. But wait a minute, let me go into more detail for a moment.

I have made it my mission to NOT see this movie. I mean, it is a cultural icon. Everyone is shocked when I say I have never seen it. I have always thought that it was part of what set me apart from the crowd. So, basically, I planned to go to the grave without seeing this movie. So, what was the perfect set of circumstances?

Well, it all started about 13 months ago, when I met the most amazing woman in the entire world. You see, she is a thespian (something else I never thought I would do, marry a thespian). When she found out I hadn't seen the Wizard of Oz, she vowed to change that within our first year of marriage. Of course, I had no intention of allowing her to break my streak. But she is an evil genius. Within weeks of us getting married she was going to heavy metal concerts, and without a complaint. I'm sure this is something she thought she would never do. She went to Trans-Siberian Orchestra, not once but twice and even agreed to force Brandon and Joan into going with us, as our Christmas present to them. She watched as I took Will, not her, to New York City on a business trip. New York City, home of Broadway. I won't say she did that without complaint, but certainly without too much of a fuss. So, then comes Julie's wedding in L.A.. A chance to go for a weekend to L.A., with my beautiful wife, and without kids....sure I said, let's do it. Then coincidentally (or was it) it just happens that the national tour of Wicked (the sequel to the Wizard) is in L.A. that weekend. So I get a phone call from Kim one day, while I am busy at work, and she says....."Hey, Wicked is in L.A., will you please take me?" Well, I am busy and I try hard to spoil my wife, so I say, "Sure babe, but I gotta run." Later that week she has got me listening to the sound track for the musical in my car.

RANT TIME:

Show Tunes. SHOW TUNES. I hate show tunes, or rather, I hate show tunes outside of a show. Sure they have their place, Gene Kelly "Singin' and Dancin' in The Rain", or even "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Mis. But let's face it people, with very few exceptions, show tunes are only palatable within the confines of a show. Once isolated, they just sound like bad Lex DeAzevedo songs, sung by people who couldn't make it on the radio.

OK, back to my story. So Kim has me "preparing" for the big event (not the wedding) by listening to these awful show tunes on my way back and forth to work. I can deal with this, I mean, we are spending $100 a piece on these tickets (something she neglected to mention when she asked me to take her), so I might as well try to enjoy this thing right? But then the other shoe drops....."Honey", she says...."you would understand the show much better if you saw the Wizard of Oz".

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

"Kim, I have all but sworn an oath to never watch that movie. I can understand the musical just fine without watching it. I know about the Lion without a brain and the Tin Man with no courage and the straw man without a heart. I get all that. I know about the little people who get high in a field of poppies. I learned about that from Dr. Demento. I know about the green city and the red slippers. I know all about Kansas, I lived next to Dorothy for 2 years on my mission. Heck, I have even lived through a Kansas tornado. I even really like some of Toto's songs, they are a decent band. Please don't make me watch the movie."

"But honey", she says, "you really need to, it will make the musical soooo much better".

Then it all comes back to me, the Dream Theater concert, the TSO shows, the Metal concert with all of the female vocalists (I mean she even had Linsey do goth makeup for the occasion). Need I mention New York? I could have refused and stuck by my principles, but would that be fair? Nope. That being said, is it fair to be such a perfect wife that I have lost the ability to say no to almost any request? Probably not, but, either way, she had me squarely over a barrel.

I caved. Not only did I watch the movie, she didn't already own it, so I BOUGHT the dang thing.

Worse yet. I can't say it was a bad movie. I can't say it was a particularly good movie, but it wasn't too bad. Apparently, I had some of the details a bit messed up. But the basics were pretty much what I figured they would be. Dorothy was fine, I guess, but Toto wasn't a band, it was a dog. If I had to pick my favorite thing......I guess it was that I made it almost 36 years without seeing it.

Now, as for the musical, Wicked. WOW, what a great show! I really, really liked it. Heck, I'll even throw this out there for ya....I loved it. The singing was fantastic, the thespians, every last one of them, were great. The green witch, the hot blond witch, the wizard, they were all great. If the tour comes near you.....SEE IT. It isn't quite on par with a TSO concert, but it was pretty stinkin' good, and I would be happy to see it again. Heck, I've been singing "No one mourns the wicked" for a week. I've been listening, voluntarily to the soundtrack while preparing breakfast for the kids. It's absolutely ridiculous. How did this happen?.........

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

My oath, my principles, most of what I hold dear, I threw to the wind. Next thing you know, I'll be starring in community theater. My wife is truly an evil genius, and yet I love her. I understand her methods now, but I will still blindly fall into more of these traps as the years go by, because I love her. I undoubtedly, unequivicably love her.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Until next time.....remember, "No one mourns the wicked".....no one.........

5 comments:

by Kimberlee St. Clair said...

ha hah ha....and yet, another convert to the world of Broadway! I love you and I am so glad you loved the show....I'll add this to another victory over rule #2.....and place it on the list in rule #2A.....

Joan said...

I laughed out loud multiple times during this post. You are a clever, quick-witted, short little man and I grow more and more fond of you with every post.

eclaires said...

Great post. And great job, Kim for being instrumental in this inevitable conversion! :)

Tiffiny said...

I'm proud of you Jared! Not every man can be so forthright about letting a woman rule their hearts an therefore their worlds! It's a tribute to you both. Wanna know my secret? I've never seen the original Star Wars movies. I totally get holding out! I'm glad wicked was so good...we wanna see it too someday. Here's to being mourned!

Joan said...

Ps...Costco hotdogs = Hebrew Nationals. That is the brand they use. I am so smart :)
So we have that among our liking different shades of blue in common. haha.